Diary of a Stiletto Junkie

I have been thinking about this all day in one way or another… Trying to put it into perspective… Trying to decipher it all…  But I can’t

Group of us went to the bar NB works at.  Got ridiculous, had a blast.  NB and I exchange a few glances.  I am putting money into the juke box and he comes up behind me, really close and starts putting a song in, arms around me.

Me: If you’re going to be that close to me, you had better kiss me.

So he does, so hot, like weak in the knees hot.

NB: ‘So I hear you’re talking to B again’

Me: ‘Yeah, we talk.  What do you care?  We’re friends.  And if it’s more, I’ll let you know’

Drinks.  Shots.  Drinks.  Shots.

NB is all grumpy, not with me in particular, just grumpy with everyone.  I tell him he’s being grumpy.  He knows. I say well, why don’t you come over and we’ll fix it.  He agrees.  He buys me a flower.

I ask him if he wants me to stay and wait or meet me at home.  He says stay.  I do.  We finally leave.  I drive.  His clothes are off and mine are being pulled off before I can even close my bedroom door.  Works for me.

Crazy drunken sex, then I get yelled at about trying to tie him down.  What?  I’m still naked, not okay to start drunken, billigerantly word vomiting on me.  Instead of the normal super snuggles I get, we stay very far on our own sides of the bed.  He might as well push me off of him.

Highly annoyed.  Sleep.  Morning finally comes.  Wake him up for work.  He rolls back over but holds me so close he is nearly on top of me.  I try to reach for my water and he pulls me in, won’t let me get away, not that I argue.

Finally gets up, I take him to work.  He goes to kiss me, I let him kiss my cheek, he goes in again and kisses me on the lips.

I don’t talk to him all day.

I put the flower in a vase.  I just look at it like it has an answer for me.  So far, it does not.