Diary of a Stiletto Junkie

So you were enamored with me.  Knew that I was different.  I told you 100 times that one day, whether soon or far, you would realize I was just another girl, and what then?  You knew that wouldn’t happen.

I told you it was the gypsy in me that blinded you, like a sparkle you couldn’t see through.  You looked at me, enamored, enthralled, excited.  I looked back hopefully, but knowing and searching for reality… It wasn’t there.

You questioned how long a small beach town could hold my gypsy soul.  So sure that all I needed was a reason to stay, that the gypsy could be calmed, that I could be tamed, as it were, if only I gave you the chance to be that person for me.  I could see that you wanted to be, that you thought you really could be.  I hoped you could, but really I knew better all along.

I’m not sure why you don’t want to be that person now.  Or maybe you do but don’t know how.  Whatever it is, you aren’t trying, you don’t seem to want to be.  Maybe you just realized it can’t be done.

Maybe I will never be tamed, maybe I need someone to run free with me forever.  Maybe that’s asking too much.

I wanted you to be the reason I stayed.  That’s not 100% true, I wanted to believe that someone could be the reason to stay.  Maybe I need to be my own reason.  Maybe there just isn’t one.