July 2009
83 posts
I woke up this morning and could barely move my head. The prednisone makes me super swollen and as I lose the weight my muscles hurt from being used oddly when I was so heavy. Anyway, it hurts. Hurts like a son of a bitch. Went to get a massage this morning, helped but not for long. Went to Dr. he gave me pain killers, barely touching it.
Seriously, why does everything happen to me?
FML
...
Why are you surprised by my bluntness? You made it clear where we stood, I made it clear what I wanted, when & how. Don’t be shocked.
Sadness
The worst thing to see when you are all fat is hot skinny pics of yourself.
I can’t help that I am fat right now, which sucks. These stupid steroids have me all jacked up and while I am only about 20 lbs too heavy with fluid right now (instead of 30 + last week) it still sucks. I also have about 10 lbs in fat to lose once all the fluid is gone and I can move about properly.
So the other...
You have to realize that your friends are adults. You can advise them, guide them, do your best to help them. When it comes down to it, however, they are grown ass adults and will do whatever they want and you can’t change that.
Accept them for these flaws or don’t, but know that we all have them.
Let’s call him SC… On occasion, from time to time, for, wow, like 2 years maybe… He infects my thoughts. Nothing ever happens, we’re just friends and I am almost happy for that, i adore him so endlessly. Still, on occasion I wonder… and when I let my mind go there, I spend a week with wild fantasies and mild flirtations until I return to the reality that my dear...
Game knows game, I just don’t play. See, when you ask me a question you get the damn truth.
God, your so typical it makes my head hurt.
I want a locket. I love them. I think they are so sweetly beautiful. I want one very much, but I want someone to get it for me. I don’t feel like a locket is somthing one buys oneself.
Sigh. I’m never getting a locket :(
Last night
I have been thinking about this all day in one way or another… Trying to put it into perspective… Trying to decipher it all… But I can’t
Group of us went to the bar NB works at. Got ridiculous, had a blast. NB and I exchange a few glances. I am putting money into the juke box and he comes up behind me, really close and starts putting a song in, arms around me.
Me: If...
Most messed up thing ever said to me
I was discussing my family history, which is very mixed with a guy I was seeing. My mom is Cherokee Indian , Scottish/Irish and then 1 mystery portion. My dad is German, Nigerian, Polish, Croation.
My mom looks Cherokee, tall, thin, high cheek bones, black eyes, but redish brown hair. My dad is medium tone skin, crystal blue eyes and dark brown hair. I am pale, blue/green eyes, dark brown...
Oh, the stupid things I do…
My head hurts, I’m confused and more annoyed than before and I’m just disappointed in myself.
I’d cry a little if my head wasn’t pounding so hard.
Disappointed in myself... again
Is it okay that I am not emotionally upset, just really annoyed?
I mean, yeah, I like the guy, but I wasn’t really very emotionally involved, just starting to be.
But damn it, you’re the one that oressured me for emotion. Pressured me for something more than casual, for affection. You’re the one that wanted to be the reason I stayed here, that wanted to be different than...
Perhaps drinking a bottle of wine by myself at dinner before going to pick my roommate up from a bar was not the best idea.
BG: Question… Aren’t you seeing B?
Me: Well, that’s complicated so I’ll answer as honestly as possible. We were, we didn’t stop necessarily but very rarely speak anymore. I require more, if he wanted to be with me he would make the time, he...
I just can't say it enough
Tempest
My manner is imperious My logic is empirical And I’m bad at being a girlfriend So I’m hoping for a miracle
I fear your disappointment When I don’t turn out ethereal Though either way for me I know it means some new material
Now don’t go thinkin’ that you’re special Just because you are ’Cause I’m bound to overthink it And I always go too far
But if you think this kind of...
Just say you want out. If you didn’t, you’d find time. And you don’t, so stop bothering. Grow a pair and say it before I have to ask and then invetibally be the crazy girl.
That just pisses me off.
Actually, let me say bye now, or not actually. You’ll figure it out and you can be the stupid one left waiting.
Dueces.
If I could be tamed...
I would make such an awesome wife!
I just felt like cooking so I made baked brie with homemade blackberry jam, curry spiced apple stuffed chicken breast tossed with linguine. Paired with a good white table wine.
I (before I got sick) hold an awesome, high earning finance career, go to school, love culture, sports, whiskey, and talking shit. Dress to the 9’s in the perfect jeans, 5 inch...
H1N1 flu in South Florida… Usually I wouldn’t be worried, but lately I catch EVERYTHING and I’m on immunosuppresents. FML.
Ever been swabbed for flu detection though? When the nurse says she is going to take the stick thingy and ‘swab your nostril’, she is lieing!!! She is going to take the stick thingy and try to give you a labadomy through your nostril, do not...
Yay for new followers! Hi!
Walkman - So funny →
I remember when I wasn’t having sex and thus it wasn’t important. When you liked someone and that meant that you held hands and kissed and snuggled and that was great.
Eventually we grow up and move on from hand holding to kissing, kissing to fooling around and fooling around to having sex. On the plus side, after a while it becomes foreplay and creative sex, which is always fun.
...
Response
Ok
1.5 hours ago after very little communication in days
Me: So I know we’ve both been busy & I’ve been sick, so do you think we could try to plan something, I mean, if you still want to.
NB: Yeah, I just got a lot going on right now. We’ll get together soon.
Think about it for an 1.5 before picking up phone to respond and then putting it back down.
Desired Reponse: Me: ...
Hmmm...
Odd how some people just show back up in your brain, isn’t it?
Curious.
I always say I like being surprised by who people are. I guess I should have been more specific in that I like to be pleasantly surprised. lol.
becomingbrina:
sometimesyouleave:
I found out that my uncle has lung cancer this morning. He was like my father growing up. I don’t know how much more I can take.
My world is slowly crashing. Everyday its a different disease, a different story, something and it never gets better with my family.
I can hold my breath, but I don’t know for how long.
i’m so sorry, honey. i can’t even imagine...
And when I see you, I really see you upside down...
Reason to stay
So you were enamored with me. Knew that I was different. I told you 100 times that one day, whether soon or far, you would realize I was just another girl, and what then? You knew that wouldn’t happen.
I told you it was the gypsy in me that blinded you, like a sparkle you couldn’t see through. You looked at me, enamored, enthralled, excited. I looked back hopefully, but knowing...
I love you sugar pie. That is all. →
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